Ben made a square for a quilt for the baby.
Mom had her phone turned off.
Krystal is finally happy.
I fly to San Fransisco tomorrow.
In my dream Breesea was in the house with her straight blond hair.
Did Kara ever come back from New York?
In my dream I jumped off the terrace to get away.
Crying all night does in fact change your face forever.
Cielo lives with cats and bunnies far away.
Inside my pinata heart everything knows it's exploding.
paper mache' and cut paper strips and dyed paper pieces and little hoofs and eyes.
Last night I was swimming in an overcrowded lap pool.
It was highways of floating bodies, above and below me.
I jumped out on the side after many near collisions and found myself in my "WILD" "THING" cheetah one-piece I loved when I was six.
I couldn't believe I fit into it still, my dream body was shorter, childlike but with my today mind inside, and unaware I was in a dream body, dream lap pool.
Dripping on the cement I knew everyone could now read the words running vertical down each side of the swimsuit.
"WILD" in all caps, on a clear plastic-ey strip that ran all the way down on the left side, and
"THING" on the right side, see-through with the words in black font. I knew when I was a kid the see-through quality was risque'.
I liked wearing it in my best friends back yard, when her super hip and dangerous beautiful mom would be laying out with her friends topless by the broken jacuzzi, horizontal under the California sun.
We would jump on the huge white rectangular trampoline in our one-pieces, and I would try to look at them, wanting to be a woman like that one day. The Yard was overflowing with stuff. A shed in the back with pin ball machines, dead cars laced with tagging and vines, bikes and skateboards abandoned by her brothers "cute" friends that came and went, a huge aviary full of colorful birds, and on the ground, bunnies, with their holes and babies, digging their way in and out of the jungle house. A forbidden tree house, clothes lines heavy with baby clothes and sexy panties and bras.
Beautiful little girls running around screaming about "where is the cordless!" and they are "skateboarding to the store!". It was The Moms House, and everyone knew she was the most beautiful creature in town, as were all of her many children, dangerously beautiful.
Once she noticed my "WILD" "THING" cheetah print one-piece, I felt the divide between girlhood and womanhood, chasms separating the two.
We jumped and my beautiful and mean friend would perform all the tricky flips, sometimes I would get on the springs and from there I would watch the tanning women from across the yard.
Stoic, tan tan oiled bodies-breasts like warm muffins, perfect vintage accessories, long neon acrylic nails, a boom box full of music, a cordless phone atop a stack of magazines, lovers that came and went, a mystery.
In my wet, hyper-vigilant adult-child state I looked for somewhere to hide, to get away from all the lap swimmers in my "WILD" "THING" suit.
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